A Lot of Things are Hard to do While Asleep, Murde
by Tikxy
Summary: Shawn and Gus have to track down a narcoleptic murderer to pay their bills, while Juliet and Lassie does the same.


O'Hara noticed a figure in a hooded bathrobe wandering around the Santa Barbara Police Department. The movements were jerky and odd, she was just about to attract the attention of Head Detective Carlton Lassiter, when the hood fell back and hawk-nosed face of Psychic Detective Shawn Spencer emerged. Juliet heaved a sigh of relief, then began to stalk toward Shawn, she was going to let him have a piece of her mind.

Shawn pulled up the hood of his bathrobe, hoping he hadn't been seen when he noticed Juliet charging toward him, she looked particularly beautiful today, but he had no time to stop and chat. He had a mission. He quickly stepped into the chiefs office and threw back his hood, ignoring the glare she sent his way. "Chief, I feel something, something in the wind, the wind through my window. Aha - I pull up my blankets. Blankets? Wait a minute, where am I?"

The chief held up her hand in annoyance. "Okay, Mr. Spencer, we get it. There was indeed a body found early in Bed, Bath, and Beyond, but that gives you no excuse to wander into my department wearing a bathrobe. Please tell me you've got something on under there!"

Shawn smirked as Juliet O'Hara walked into the room, her mouth pinched, and her hands clutching the bottom of her suit jacket, a sure sign she was upset. "Listen chief, I do not interfere with how you work, so please, if the spirits ask that I roam around in my bathrobe to deliver a clearer message, I will not muffle their voices with more layers." The chief hurriedly leaned back, and Juliet seemed to have been pushed to a higher state of disbelief. She was just about to tell him off when Carlton Lassiter stepped into the office. "Chief, I think we've had a break in the-…Mr. Spencer, what are you doing here?" He paused for a closer look, "And in your bathrobe." Lassiter smiled triumphantly and brandished the case files in had in his had toward the chief. "I don't think we're going to be needing Mr. Spencer on this case, because, " he paused and bared his teeth in Shawn's direction, "I just solved it."

"Good work, detective," Chief Vick said enthusiastically. "Did it turn out to be the man in the Bath section, I knew he had a strange look about him." "I'm sorry chief," Shawn said collapsing into a chair, "but Detective Lassiter is wrong. Marvin Gainsworth did not kill anyone. And how do I know that?"

Everyone in the room stood and looked at Shawn, waiting for the rest of the sentence.

"Anyone? Anyone?" Chief Vick gritted her teeth, "Just tell us, Mr. Spencer."

Shawn smiled, "I know this because…," he paused for dramatic effect, and also for Gus, who he knew had been following him from the moment he had stolen the bathrobe from Gus's laundry. He couldn't believe Gus still kept the key to his apartment in a fake rock on the second floor.

Everyone in the room leaned forward, then jumped back as Gus made his hasty entrance. "Shawn, what are you doing here in my bathrobe?! You better be wearing something under there!" Shawn just smiled at him while the chief and Juliet looked away. "Oh, no you didn't'. I will kill you, Shawn." "Don't be so hasty, Gus," Shawn said. "If you kill me now, they'll think you did it."

"Did what, Shawn?! I've been in my bed, asleep all night. You know I have early onset mono."

"What! No you don't."

"Yes I do, Shawn. Remember that time in ninth grade when Sarah Johnson was going around -" "Just get to the point, Mr. Spencer. How do you know that this guy is not our man?"

Shawn turned back toward the chief, "I know because he was with me and Gus four six hours that night."

Juliet blinked in surprise. "Doing what?"

Lassiter clenched his jaw "How exactly do you know this man?"

Shawn ignored Juliet's question and swung toward Detective Lassiter. "Because, he's my cousin."

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Shawn and Gus headed out of the police station, Juliet hot on their heels.

"Just how close of a cousin is he?" She asked Shawn, curious.

"Well," Shawn said, putting his hands in the pockets of the bathrobe, earning another dirty look from Gus. "You know how my father has a brother named Jack."

"Yes," Juliet said, not seeing where this was going.

"Well," Shawn said, "Marvin isn't his son." Juliet rolled her eyes and tossed up her hands. "Shawn, what are you trying to say?"

Shawn paused in the hallway and looked from Juliet to Gus and knit his brow. "I thought you were a pretty good detective, Jules. I thought that I was quite straightforward, right Gus."

Gus glared at him and looked away. Juliet blinked.

"It means, Jules, that he's not my first cousin." Juliet rolled her eyes, again.

Shawn started walking again, "And, you know how my mother is an only child right." Juliet groaned. "Is this guy even related to you?"

"Jules!" Shawn said, shocked. "You know me better than that. I don't tell lies. Unless I do, then how would you ever know if I told the truth or if I had lied. Like in that movie with maze and talking creatures." "Oh," said Gus. "Cube." "No, there was singing and girls in poofy gowns." "Oh," said Gus. "Snow White." Shawn squinted his eyes at Gus, then shook his head as he concentrated on going down the steps at the entrance of the police department without making the bathrobe flare to widely in the wind.

Juliet stood at the top of the stairs, not following. "We're still going to bring this guy in, Shawn."

"Okay," Shawn called back, pausing at the door of Gus's little blue car. "But don't be shocked if another body turns up while you're questioning my dear innocent cousin."

Juliet turned on her heals and stomped back in the department.

"Gus," Shawn said while tugging on the door handle. "I think your doors are locked."

"No, Shawn," Gus said, brandishing the keys. "They're locked. I don't let guys who've stolen my bathrobe ride in my car."

"….Gus….how many guys have stolen your bathrobe."

Gus grimaced. "That's beside the point. Until you give my bathrobe back, you don't get a ride. Let's see you take a taxi with that on." And with that, Gus hopped into the car and sped off.

Shawn looked after him disbelievingly, then slowly took off the robe. "I can't believe he really thinks that I would run around naked." He tossed the robe over his arm and hailed down Buzz who was heading off on a coffee run.

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End file.
